When an application, piece of software, your car, or anything else you use regularly starts to not function correctly or breaks you start to lose confidence in it. Why? Because you cannot trust that it will work each time.
We are exactly the same, if you cannot trust yourself then you are likely to suffer from lower levels of confidence than you may wish to have.
How can you start to bridge this gap, and build confidence? Re-establish trust! Trust once broken can be harder to form whether that be in relationships or products. Fortunately, I am talking about re-establishing that trust with yourself. You ARE in control, you determined whether you re-establish it or not.
How important is it, that you can trust yourself? That when you say you are going to do something, you are sure that you will give it your best.
Many people can say they try, but not everyone can say they give it their best. Below are my top 5 to build trust with yourself.
1. Be Consistent
If you don’t know what sort of person you’re going to act like today, then how can anyone else know what to expect. There is nothing worse than not knowing what sort of person you’ll be coming into contact with. Some days someone could be having the time of their life, the next they could sap the energy out fo you like a dementor.
What positive habits could you establish which you’ll be able to sustain? Identify these and ensure you keep doing them, day in day out.
Everyone has days when they don’t feel like doing anything. Some will have these days more than others. It is on those days that you’ll need to push through and keep doing what you have been doing, keep being consistent.
If you know, that each day you’ll remain at an even keel then you’ll start to develop trust within yourself.
2. Be Authentic
Yeah yeah, you’ve heard it before ‘be authentic’. It can sounds pretty boring right? Well, I find it boring, by what does it really mean?
Well, something that is authentic isn’t copied, it is genuine. Have you been copied? I hardly doubt it unless science has progressed that quickly!
If you don’t believe in something, then don’t say or participate in it. You are allowed to believe in whatever that may be, going along with the majority is a choice. It doesn’t mean it is the right choice, and if you don’t believe in it I would suggest it is the wrong choice!
Know what you believe in, and have that opinion.
If you are following others or following the crowd then you won’t be loyal to your values and your beliefs. You won’t be authentic and you won’t be able to trust your decision making and outcomes. You’ll be relying on others. There is only one person who can be the best at being you, and that is YOU!
3. Aim for Progression
Do you know what happens when you wait for the perfect moment? Nothing
Do you know what happens when you try to make some perfect? It never gets put out there
We strive for perfection, but the results tend to be few and far between and mistakes never happen. Mistakes are life’s teacher. You’ll give something a go and it may or may not go well either way, you’ll have something to reflect upon. Once you have reflected you can make tweaks and do it slightly differently to get a better outcome.
Focus on being better than you were yesterday. This may not always be possible, but if you make it so more days than not you will be heading in the right direction.
Each decision you make progresses you further along the line. Each decision you put off, procrastinate over, pretend isn’t there won’t go away, it just means your progress will be halted. Make a decision and stand by it. It may not always go to plan but again you’ll learn and grow throughout the process.
4. Take Responsibility
If you had a friend who would divert the blame, accuse overs and ultimately not take responsibility for their actions, how much would you trust them?
Take responsibility for yourself. For your actions, your behaviour and your attitude.
You won’t be perfect, you are human! If you have sloppy shoulders you aren’t going to learn and improve, and others won’t trust you to do anything let alone trusting yourself!
If life isn’t going the way you want it to be heading, ask yourself; what can I do differently? What am I currently doing that isn’t working?
Your life is your responsibility. It isn’t up to someone else to make you happy. To provide you with success. They have their own lives going on. Show up each day, when tasks go wrong, accept your part and identify what you’ll do differently next time to ensure it doesn’t go wrong again!
5. Congruent Actions & Words
Saying something and doing something are two completely different things. There are plenty of talkers out there, they can talk a bloody good game and convince you that they’re going to do whatever they intend to do.
However, this isn’t always backed up with the same action. It is very much like someone saying yes to you whilst shaking their head. Will they or won’t they?
If you were in a relationship and your other half had an affair but told you they didn’t mean it and loved you, would you trust them?
What if they kept doing it? How much more trust would be broken?
Let’s be honest there would be no trust. You’d be cheating on yourself if you kept saying you’d do something but not actually doing it, the trust would be broken within.
Keep to your word, lay out (clearly) your intentions. Then follow them up with some hard action! Place dates & times against the intended tasks, and make sure you meet them. Keep your word!
I trust this has been helpful for you. Your self-belief will start to increase once you start trusting yourself.
Our confidence in everything increases when we come to know what to expect. When we trust the process.
What builds self-trust for yourself?